m. (
thingpuncher) wrote2017-07-16 03:56 pm
@glavesworn.
So Midnighter spends the next week thinking about what an idiot he was. He bitches to Jason about it, about how that guy he was talking about was stringing him along, and he expects it to make him feel better, but it fucking doesn't. It just makes Midnighter feel more bitter, more betrayed, and more stupid for even feeling that way. Didn't Nyx say from the start, dates are all he could offer? Midnighter's the one who got his stupid fucking hopes up.
But the way Nyx had looked at him, on the couch or in his bed, the conversations they'd shared late at night, the way he'd held Midnighter's face in his hands... He'd thought, maybe, there was something more.
He'd been fucking wrong.
So he puts his energy into his job-- not that he'd been slacking-- and tries to ignore that fucking empty feeling. Any texts he receives from Nyx will get a brush-off; he's busy, can't talk right now, he's in the middle of something. In truth, Midnighter's just not ready to end it. He needs to. He just hasn't yet.
He waits until late at night, when he's lonely and sleepless and stewed in self pity, for the moment to finally feel right.
hey
But the way Nyx had looked at him, on the couch or in his bed, the conversations they'd shared late at night, the way he'd held Midnighter's face in his hands... He'd thought, maybe, there was something more.
He'd been fucking wrong.
So he puts his energy into his job-- not that he'd been slacking-- and tries to ignore that fucking empty feeling. Any texts he receives from Nyx will get a brush-off; he's busy, can't talk right now, he's in the middle of something. In truth, Midnighter's just not ready to end it. He needs to. He just hasn't yet.
He waits until late at night, when he's lonely and sleepless and stewed in self pity, for the moment to finally feel right.
hey

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"...No. I've never heard of anything like that." Not more than Nyx's usual lapses into bad memories and old pain, at least, but even that's... not what Midnighter is describing. Not even close.
"Think I'd hear about it if somebody spiked the punch bowl. Or if you went and drank the whole bar dry. Maybe some bad shrimp?" A joke, sort of. Nyx isn't sure if they're back in joking territory yet, but this is all... unmapped, uncharted emotional and conversational ground for him, and he a blind man fumbling around on hands and knees, trying to feel out the shape of things and not coming up with a single fucking clue.
That little quip leaves him out of things to say in the face of Midnighter's confusion and fury, so Nyx instead takes a ginger step forward, then another to gingerly rest the back of his hand against Midnighter's forehead, finding it easier to do something than to keep fumbling for more words. Once he'd run a high fever and dreamed he was a bridge, so hey... can the computer brain overheat?
"You were acting all weird earlier. Did something happen?" Nyx knows shitall about Midnighter's world, but maybe it had something to do with whatever he was up to before the assignment. "What, uh... what did it, what did I say?"
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But he doesn't. He asks after Midnighter, concerned and friendly, the man Midnighter's been missing since that stupid festival. And maybe that was a hallucination, too. Maybe he's losing his fucking mind. The computer could be breaking down-- maybe it wasn't meant to put up with this amount of interdimensional travel. He'll have to call Apollo to put him out of his mystery-- Apollo would understand. Midnighter's too dangerous to be hallucinating like this.
Midnighter closes his eyes, and recites from perfect memory-- "'Should I say instead how much I missed you? But we both know that would be a lie', shit like that. Look- I saw security cameras. There's gotta be tapes. And if I'm just... talking to myself, I'll get outta your hair." But he needs to know.
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"Hey Pelna, got a favor to ask. Again, yeah. Sorry, next round's on me. Yeah. Again. Look, I need you to pull all the tapes from that party on the roof. All of them, but don't let anyone know. Yeah, there's something wr-- another one of my hunches, sure. Just let me know when you've got access."
The first hurtle crossed, Nyx clicks off the connection and turns back to face Midnighter, expression grim and focused as his mind turns Midnighter's words over and over again in his head. How much I missed you... A strangely personal jab. A version of him that had called Midnighter a freak, told him that he didn't... miss him?
"How'd that even come up anyway?"
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It might mean he's dying.
Luckily, Midnighter is designed to be self-sufficient; he can't linger on the thought of mortality too long.
"You came by at the gala." You were so beautiful. "Asked why I was angry with you. Said some real sweet shit, and asked me to meet you by the servant's quarters when I didn't roll over."
Is it possible Nyx never really said anything worth being angry over in the first place? How long has Midnighter been hallucinating? Anger and fear mix in the pit of his stomach.
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Asked why I was angry with you. So does that mean he was already mad? What for?
"Is that the first time this has... fuck." Nyx rubs at his temples, trying to focus. "How the hell would you know, right? First time you've heard me say fucked up shit? Or anyone else?" What even qualifies as out of the ordinary here? Astrals take it all, Pelna should be sending over the footage soon enough, and they can figure things out from there.
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"I don't know. I'm a prototype, remember? I could be malfunctioning." As ever, whenever he's in poor spirits, Midnighter begins to talk like he isn't human. Still, He's not sure why he'd malfunction this way. A glitch in his hardware should cause a seizure, not a lovelorn hallucination.
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But that's-- isn't that a big fucking deal? Nyx doesn't know what to say or do, whether he can help in any way, as much as he wants to. Fucking useless, not like he knows shit about computers or hardware, let along the complex workings of whatever makes up Midnighter. Not like he knows how to offer comfort, reassurance in the face of this. Futility beats its own rhythm in his ears even as he reaches out to set a tentative hand on Midnighter's shoulder.
"Anything you need, alright? Anything at all."
He hates this.
The beep of his email is a welcome distraction. Nyx opens the attachments included in Pelna's message and a video pops up. Waving Midnighter over, he hits play.
There's a strange graininess to the video, black spots appearing and disappearing, but Midnighter is clearly visible standing next to one of the long tables. More black spots, static crackling, blurring the feed, and then--
Nyx. Sauntering up to stand beside him.
"What the hell..." Shocked beyond words, his voice is all breath.
The video is too distant to capture any sound, but the body language between the two of them is evident-- Nyx, all smiles and charm, Midnighter closed off and angry, arms crossed. The figure that is and isn't Nyx leans in close, intimate, and then--
--bzzt. The feed dies. Try as Nyx might, he can't seem to bring it back up again. His fingers stumble over the keys, and he can't-- can't process what he just saw.
"You said... he-- fuck, I lured you out. Servant's quarters. When?"
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The video is quickly analyzed, and Midnighter picks up a few oddities. Watching it from a detached perspective, Midnighter notes a slight difference in posture, a neatness and perfection the man next to him lacks. It's... odd. What's odder is- "Are the palace feeds always so low quality?" This is royalty they're talking about. Shouldn't they be able to shell out for better cameras?
But that's not the point. Midnighter answers the question-- "Hour and a half later. Right inside back entry."
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With the second video, the distortion is a little worse, the view darker, and black splotches team at the edges of the screen, which occasionally shorts out with bursts of static. One other difference: this one comes with audio.
It's quiet, even after he turns the volume all the way up, the sound tinny through the speakers. But it's indisputably, inarguably Nyx's voice.
Not a chance, with a freak like you.
He feels a little sick just hearing it. No fucking wonder Midnighter had been pissed as hell at him. Other than that, he's not... not sure what they're talking about, exactly, something about the truth of how someone-- Midnighter?-- feels, truth and lies, and something more--
And there at the end, as the light of the Door disappears and leaves Nyx's form slumped against the wall, an arm crossed over his side. For a moment, pale green eyes flick upward, seeming to lock onto the camera before his knees buckle and he doubles over in gales of laughter.
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Midnighter's throat is tight through it all, and he forces himself to relax.
"You- you don't remember any of that?"
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"Fuck. If you still want to punch me a good one or five times, go right ahead. You've earned it."
Hell, he might even feel better if Midnighter took him up on the offer. This wasn't him, Nyx is sure of that. But that doesn't mean he was unmoved by seeing... whatever the fuck that was. What kind of comfort could he possibly offer Midnighter, after some asshole wearing his face and his skin had torn into him like that?
"At least we know it's not some issue with your computer. And it's not--" Nyx hesitates, trying to find the words. This should be obvious, shouldn't it? And yet... "That's not what I think. At all."
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Midnighter might wait a moment too long before answering.
"Where were you all night?" Midnighter looks up. "Cross reference that with the videos of me. I wanna make sure you're not losing time."
Shapeshifting is a possibility, but Midnighter can't imagine why.
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Two videos, side by side. Midnighter making the rounds, standing next to the table as he's accosted by Nyx, later leaving for the servant's quarters. In the other, Nyx barely moves from his position, except once to interfere with a heated argument, and another time to accompany the princess, stiffly offering his arm as she beams up at him, his expression softening into a grin and a wink as he turns to reply, stooping slightly to her height.
Nyx would be lying if he said he didn't heave a slight sigh of relief at that.
"...So we've ruled out the obvious. What's next?"
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He taps the ghost image of Nyx, leaning in flirtatiously while Midnighter stares daggers at him. "My computer can't pick up magic. Bendix never figured out how. So it's some kind of magic bullshit, and it's interested in us, or at least me. You know more about the magic in this world than I do."
He turns to Nyx; it's his turn to provide the data.
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"Daemons have their own magic. Some can even shapeshift or disguise themselves, but they can't pass the barrier into the city. Niflheim's magitek shit is based all on daemon magic, chop 'em up and puree them, I don't know, but it fucks you up like nothing else. Other than that..." He's at a loss, watching the scene replay before his eyes, not-Nyx's careless shrug as his face is overtaken by spots of black that just as quickly fade out of sight.
"Wait."
He pulls up the feed again, this time opening them up to play simultaneously in a grid. Watching the videos blur and warp, edged in black, and then slowly fade back into clarity.
"This is near the Nif delegation. You can barely see the emperor here--" he taps a spot of white, the man's face obscured by grainy pixels. "And here, again."
His fingers track the thread of the distortion, following Niflheim courtiers, the chancellor... to the tables, near Midnighter, back around again, the chancellor's hat a blob in the corner, black spots by him and the princess, the emperor, the chancellor again.
And again, the shadowy edge of a long coat whisking out of sight by the servant's entrance. His mouth tightens.
"...I've heard shit about him, but it was always rumors and gossip, smoke and mirrors, nothing solid. So what the fuck is this?"
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Finally, his sense of anger and betrayal has a outlet. Midnighter is happy to focus on that, and not his own disappointed heartbreak.
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"Normally I'd be right there behind you, but..." Exhale, because Nyx has the feeling that this is going to get ugly. "Midnighter, this is a top dignitary for a foreign nation you're talking about. I can't let you do that."
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He exhales, and steps away from Nyx, turning to sit on a worn sofa and stare at the wall, avoiding Nyx entirely. "You're right," he says. "Of course you're right."
But... what next? He feels claustrophobic. There's no way further. They just let the insult fester as the danger grows. "He'll come after you, next," Midnighter says with absolute certainty. "However he figured out just what to say-- it was all because I was thinking of you. Had to be it. In my fucking head."
There are few things that cause Midnighter's skin to crawl more. He continues to tense, a spring coiling with no outletl
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In sharp contrast, the thought that the Chancellor of Niflheim might go after Nyx with his awful, mindtwisting powers is.... almost reassuring, in a way. As long as he leaves Midnighter well enough alone.
"Hey, don't worry about it. You know I can take care of myself."
Taking a seat on the sagging couch behind Midnighter, Nyx sets a hand on his shoulder, leaning forward to press an affectionate kiss to the nape of his neck, hoping against hope to gentle the hard set of his shoulders, to soothe away a little bit of the damage already done.
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Does he really want to talk about that right now? His own lovesick bullshit? No, not when Nyx is in danger.
"If he was in my head, he knows what I am. And he saw a Door."
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"Look, I don't like it any more than you do, but unless you think he got enough to start Dooring himself around too, what's he going to do with that information?" He crosses his arms, leaning back against the sofa cushions in thought. "You've got no connections to Lucis, you're not involved in the war. You're not even here most of the time. As long as you don't go anywhere near that asshole again, he can't touch you."
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Now, it's just a festering fucking wound all over again, made worse by Nyx's proximity, and his earnest concern. Earnest and friendly, and maybe that's what friendship is in Lucis, or Galahd. Maybe you just fuck all your friends, and Midnighter is the one with shitty expectations.
He's thought about that, too. He's so tired of thinking of all the reasons why Nyx doesn't love him.
"What I mean is," Midnighter says, taking a conscious effort to pull his thoughts back to the present. "If he can't get to me, and he wants something, he'll go for you. And if he can fucking make himself appear as somebody else?"
He looks at Nyx, concern and unease clear on his face.
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"Now who's being cute? Told you I can handle whatever he throws at me."
Midnighter looks so damned concerned though, and Nyx wants nothing more than to just-- lean forward and kiss his worries away, to reassure Midnighter the only way he knows how that he's not nothing to him, not a freak, not some thing to be used and tossed aside. Nyx's gaze drops to his lips, eyes sharpening with wanting before he looks away. Don't. He won't push.
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He should mention how he's worried about Nyx, how Nyx most certainly can't handle this monster by himself, how they're both out of their fucking league, and yet- all he can think of is Nyx's pale blue eyes, soft with longing.
Fuck.
Midnighter gets up from the sofa, turning his back to Nyx, not wanting to look at him anymore.
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"...What?"
(It feels like all of the air has been sucked right out of his lungs, left him empty and hollow and jagged. Was there a mistake? Did Midnighter still think he was the one who...?)
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im sorry.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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